About a month or so ago, we were really struggling with disciplining Jackson. Granted, it was just after we had a month of family reunions and vacations; and his schedule was completely messed up. He also hit a VERY independent phase. I just wasn't sure what to do. I finally gave into what everyone else seems to be doing. I hate to do something because everyone else is doing it. Even if it is the best-true-tried method in the world, I drag my feet sometimes.
ANYWAY . . . back to Jackson. I decided to use the marble/bean-in-a-jar method. Beans seemed like such small things to fill a container, and I didn't want rewards every week. So, we went with floral-jar marbles from the dollar store. He picked that his big reward would be to go to McDonald's. He always asks to go there, and this would give us a good reason to take him there. He loves to play on the toys. We agreed that this was a good compromise.
Today he made it! We went to McDonald's and let him play for an hour. (Then we took him home and scrubbed him in a nice, warm bath!!!) It's been a long month, though, with some days feeling like he didn't deserve any marbles. Other days wishing we had marbles and throwing them out because we would have been in the negative with how we'd reacted to him. In the end, though, we're learning more patience. Having kids is the hardest, most rewarding thing I've ever done.
(I really do want another one even if some days I don't feel I even deserve the miracle I have. Bring it on!)
Good for him for making it to McDonald's!
ReplyDeleteI think the marble method sounds like a good one; I hadn't heard it in awhile (back when Logan wasn't even close to grasping that kind of concept).
And everybody has those tough days -- and I agree that having kids teaches so, so, so much patience. But yes. It's worth it, huh?
I'm doing the bean jar thing with Kallie--and it's worked really well. The thing I like about the beans is that I can adjust the number of beans according to the task, (10 beans, 15 beans, etc.) And, I can rig it to give her a prize about once a month. :) It has really helped me to focus on the positive behaviors and helped Kallie look forward to something.
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