The List

Fifteen years ago I remember writing a list about my dream guy.  It was long.  I typed it up, printed it out, and hung it on my wall.  On this list were things like, handsome, good sense of humor, returned missionary, Eagle Scout, great home teacher, taller than me, and active in the church.  I didn't know what he would look like or where I would meet him, but I had this list. 

When I went to college and really started branching out of my little, sheltered world, "the list" really helped me.  Before you start to roll your eyes, I didn't take this list with me on all my dates.  I didn't look over it carefully before I went out and then start interviewing each guy based on the "qualifications" on my list.  First of all, I didn't get asked out much on single dates; in fact, I was asked out ONCE during my freshman year of college and in my sophomore year I didn't get asked until I met Matt.  I did go on several group dates, but these were usually arranged by girls.  The guys we asked for our friends were always so good to play along. 

While it may seem shallow or even unfair to compare men to a list like this, I realize it was a really good thing.  If I expected the man I married to have all of these qualities, then I needed to work on them as well.  I always had it in mind.  I remember when I was dating Matt that I looked over the list and pleased to see that he seemed to fit all of my criteria.  I remember a blow when I did ask him about one or two on the list, and he told me that he wasn't so good in that area.  Of course, I didn't tell him about my list, that would be harsh.

When Matt proposed to me, I was working as a server at JB's.  The night managers quickly became surrogate fathers and good friends to us who worked there.  One of these great men wisely advised me to ask Matt why he loves me and then to come back and report.  The answer to this question, my manager told me, would be very telling about the kind of man Matt was.

I was nervous walking home from school with Matt that day because I knew I had to ask him this question.  I remember Matt being a little taken aback by this question, but he had a good, genuine answer for me.  What that answer was, exactly, I can't remember (so shoot me); but I do remember it had something to do with the fact that I loved him. 

Sooooo. . . back to the list. My Matt wasn't everything on that list, but I loved him very much. I realized that the man I would marry would not be perfect, but he would have the potential to be perfect one day just as I hoped I would be able to be.  The day I threw my list away, I knew that marriage was about working together towards exaltation.  Marriage is about teamwork.  And, well, eleven years later, I personally believe I picked a great team. 

Happy Anniversary, Matt!  I love you.

Time Machine

Let's go back to 1990 shall we?  It was an era of Tiny Toons,  scrunchies, alternating sock colors, mini-skirts, dyed hair, stir-up pants, and "Achy Breaky Heart."  Well, at that point, I was still into the TMNT club I made with my friends, building forts, playing with my Barbies, and just being a kid.  And. . . I looked like this:

Oh, and did I mention that I did the St. Jude Bike-A-Thon that year that my mom helped with?  Obviously I earned a shirt out of it.   This is a picture of my cute "baby" brother as we're sitting in my aunt's and uncle's luxurious RV watching a movie.  Okay, it was luxurious to us -- I mean you could make at least three beds in there - one out of the table- , and there was a VCR!  It didn't get any better than that!

Now look behind me on the right hand side of the picture in the background.  You see those two vans?  Those are parked in front of my house, which is hard to see because of the trees.  If you click on the picture, you might just be able to see part of it.  My aunt and uncle were "staying" at my grandma's house just around the block.

Anyway, my aunt sent me this picture in the mail this week, and it was a pleasant surprise.  I love thinking back to my childhood.  Good times.

Reconnecting

First off, my apologies that this is a long, wordy one. A while ago I joined Facebook since I received an invitation from someone that I can't remember who sent it to me. At first, I started seeing all of my BYU friends on there, but that didn't really excite me as I already had their blog addresses and I much prefer to read their blogs. Then four of my brothers and my husband's siblings were using Facebook. Then I started finding friends from high school.

Like many people high school for me was essential, but something I didn't mind leaving behind and moving on and out ASAP. In fact, after moving to BYU, it wasn't long that I lost track of almost everybody I was "friends" with in high school. I kept up a little bit via my mom and dad. It's pretty easy to do since there were less than 50 students in my graduating class, and I knew most of them since elementary school, and most of their parents still live in that area.

Anyway, maybe it's because this year is my ten year reunion (and they're actually planning one) that I'm suddenly thinking about all the people I knew in high school. I'm finally forgiving myself and others for the way we acted as teenagers. It is harder for me to forgive some people and remember that they have changed as well. Unfortunately, the scars of high school linger long after the injury. I've had to do a lot of changing about the way I feel and think about myself and about how others view me.

In spite of my feelings about high school, I've been surprised about how excited I've been to catch up with people and reconnect with them via the internet. Maybe it's the feeling of being "home" again. I admit that the class reunion has been a source of inner turmoil for me, but I have enjoyed reconnecting with some friends. I've even been considering attending the reunion in May. My biggest drawback, it's on Memorial Day, and I usually reserve that day for Clarissa. Actually, I'm probably just using the holiday as an excuse not to go because there are ways take care of that issue, too. I still have a month or two to make my decision.

Oh, and I'm finally brave enough to post a couple of my senior pictures. A local photographer took them for me. One is in my front yard (the one with flowers if you couldn't figure it out), and the other is taken at a local state park in the area.

Remember these?

I loved this clock as a kid. I thought it was really neat, and I hadn't seen one in a really long time -- in fact I had forgotten about it until my mother-in-law sent a "new" vintage clock for Jackson for Christmas (see picture below). It's pretty much the same except that it's plastic instead of wood.

You can check out this website for other great toy memories.