Boy Update

I have some pretty awesome little boys.  I love them oober much, and they are my Valentines.  Here are some recent snippets of them.


Jackson

A few days ago, Jackson was pretending to talk on a cell phone.  Here's the conversation I heard:

"Where were we?...Oh, yeah, the baby. You're sure it's not his because it sure seems that way...Ooooh, so that's how it happens." Then turning to me he says, "Mom, that was your friend, Lisa [meaning his aunt Lisa], she wants to talk to you."

Um, yes, I was trying SO hard not to laugh in front of him; no, I have NO idea where he got that stuff.

Jackson:  "Mom, does this have sugar in it?"
Me:  "Yes."
Jackson:  "Then you can't eat it, but I can have one. . . or two, but not you.  It will make you sick and fat."

Last month my brother and his wife bought Jackson a telescope for his birthday.  It was missing the tripod that goes with it, and so Matt bought a camera tripod and fixed it to work with the telescope. Now, we're just waiting for some slightly warmer nights to go check out the moon instead of eyeing the neighbors bird feeder across the street.   

Last night was the annual Blue and Gold Banquet for cub scouts.  Jackson decided near the end that he wanted his face painted (we did a carnival theme).  Surprisingly, to me, he chose to become a zombie.  When I took this picture, he instructed me to share it with his 2nd grade teacher who is ready to defend the world from the upcoming Zombie Apocalypse.  The most amazing thing to me is that he wanted his face painted.  This is a huge step for him.

 This morning I was trying to figure out if Jackson had made a Valentine's holder/box at school since his teacher said they were going to make them.  However, Jackson occasionally missed art, and so I wasn't sure if he had a chance to make it.  After 5 minutes of intense questioning, the most definitive answer was "I don't know."  So, 20 minutes before school, we pulled out the crafts and went to work.  He wanted a bunny, so he got a love-crazed bunny. 

 Cole
 This past weekend Matt's grandparents were in town for a wedding, and so we drove up to Matt's aunt's house to see them and his cousins.  Matt's aunt has a dog, Abby.  While Jackson was clinging to my legs, Cole was giggling and loving on Abby.  He made her nervous as he followed her around and just wanted her.  

As for the grandparents, he sat on Grandpa's lap, but wouldn't go near Grandma until we were ready to leave, then he gave her a hug.  I'm glad we got a picture of all of us.  (And you can see that I still have a LONG way to go in losing weight, but I'm getting there.)

This week has been an off-week for Cole (and me) as he has had 4-8 different teeth all trying to come in.  Yesterday it took him quite a while to fall asleep for his nap.  When I went to check on him, this is how I found him.  

 Finally, here's a video I took of Cole playing with Jackson's balloon.  Babies and Balloons are just too fun to watch.  (For me, anyway)

March Just Is

Our lives are completely, well, different at this time.  This month is one long, weird, un-vacation.  What do I mean?  We have some of the greatest friends living with us for a while until they can close on their house - which means it feels like vacation without being on vacation.  Jackson hasn't had much school this week because of an end-of-term break, but he did last week and next week he will still have school, and our friends will still be with us.

Living in close quarters with good friends can be a learning experience.  The greatest thing I've learned is that these are some of the greatest friends we have.  They have a large family, compared to us, and I admit that I was nervous before they came about how Jackson would handle it all.  Yes, he does get overwhelmed sometimes, but I notice that he worries more when our friends leave on a family outing.  He wonders if he will get to see them before bedtime or have time to play with the kids.  He adores them.  Even better, they are so good to him.  Jackson is getting a lot of very intimate social interaction with kids who want to play with him.  This experience has been very, very good for him so far.  He is picking up normal social behavior.  This makes me happy.


The thing is, I KNOW that our friends would do the exact same thing for us if we needed their help.  I love that they are here.  Yes, we all struggled after about a week because we were still all displaced, but now we're in a groove.  The communication is open, at least I feel it is; and we get along well.  While we have different schedules, somehow it's working out.  Of course, it's not a stroll in the park for anyone, but we all know that, and we all accept that fact; and because we accept it, we can deal with it much better.  Again, I'm so grateful for such wonderful friends.

P.S. I have to admit that one of the greatest perks is that I get to hold a sweet, smiling baby several times throughout the day.  (Sorry I don't have any pictures yet.)

Finally, Something's Working

Right now, this is my most favorite website:

My Fitness Pal.

When weight loss experts talk about counting calories, they're not kidding. I believed it to be true, but I was too lazy to actually do it. Well, for the last two weeks, I've been counting my calories -all my calories (yes, even the peanut butter cookies) - and exercising. And you know what? IT WORKS! I don't have to believe it any more. I know it. I have results to prove it. Know what else? I don't have to give up treats, I just have to treat them like treats, and eat them sparingly -- not turn them into a meal.

Change takes courage and lots of faith and lots of DOING. It can be done. I'm on my way to reaching my goal of being healthy, and I don't ever want to go back. Ever.

Peace

Obviously I've been very absorbed with adoption again, as you can tell by my numerous posts. I'm here to tell you that I'm at peace with our journey. I look forward to the day of adding to our family with anticipation and excitement, and yet I'm finally at peace. I rejoice for other adoptive parents when I find out that they've been chosen by an expectant mother. Yes, I long for the day when it will be our turn, but I no longer feel jealousy or pain at another's joy. I know that when it is our time, it will be right. All will be right.

I love this post here today.

You can read our letter to expectant parents here. We decided to redo it, and we finally feel like it reflects who we really are. No more trying to be something that we think an expectant mother is looking for.

We sang this hymn in church today, and for the first time I really read the words. Love the imagery:

God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform;
He plants his footsteps in the sea
And rides upon the storm.

Ye fearful Saints, fresh courage take;
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break
In blessings on your head.

His purposes will ripen fast,
Unfolding ev'ry hour;
The bud may have a bitter taste,
But sweet will be the flower.

Picture taken by Matt

Blind unbelief is sure to err
And scan his works in vain;
God is his own interpreter,
And he will make it plain.

"God Moves in a Mysterious Way"
by William Cowper

What blessings have been showered on your head lately?

Jackson's song revealed.

In the previous post, Jackson's song is "Latter-day Prophets." Now that you know, maybe you'll go back, watch it, and sing along. Then again, maybe you won't!

No Offense Meant

I've been MIA again in the blogging world due to family visits and a big family reunion last week (which was a BLAST by the way!). Anyway, this quick post is to apologize now for any family members' blogs that I may have NOT posted on my blog roll list to the right. I mainly posted some blogs due a rumor that I had a list of my brothers' family blogs on my blog. So, if you want your blog listed (I still read your blog even if it's not listed, more than likely) or if you want yours removed, would you please comment and let me know?

Thanks.

In Which I Update You on the Mundane

The Love and Logic stuff is working! Granted, I have been emotionally drained several times trying to do it, but it's paying off! Jackson now will run to put his toys away because if I put them away, then I put them away, and he gets to earn them back because I did his chores for him. Sounds mean? It's not. He's getting the idea, and he's been earning them back like crazy, and I've been getting a lot of chores done around the house that I never would have thought to do because of it. He's adapting, and so am I.

Tasha the Fish swam to the big ocean in the sky last night. Jackson set her off with Daddy's help this morning. Empty fish tank = ugly, but NO PETS! Sorry pet lovers, Tasha did not win me over to the pro-pet-owning side of things.

Jackson has a new neighborhood friend. He's two years older, but also an only child, and comes over almost everyday. They entertain each other, never fight (not yet anyway - knock on wood), and go between houses. Jackson is getting some great peer to peer modeling, and I love it! He's learning how to ask for certain things and learning how to handle different social situations.

We were inducted into the Home Ownership Club this weekend by some minor flooding due to torrential Utah rain (meaning it lasted much longer than five minutes) and clogged gutters. At least our laundry room cement floor got cleaned.

I'm ready to post pictures of my house. Well, soon anyway. I've got to take the pictures first.

Oh, and because some friends have recently asked, no, there is no new adoption news. Nada. No leads, nothing. Somehow, though, I'm trying to stay hopeful. I admit it's sometimes hard to watch dear, very-deserving friends to announce unexpected pregnancies or adoptions. All in the Lord's time, though, will we be blessed with our baby.

Well, that's it for now. I hope you've enjoyed my blogging spree lately.

Just. Gotta. Get. Out. Of. Bed.

That's what I had to tell myself more than ten times this morning. Since moving, we've had to adjust our morning schedules to be able to take Daddy to meet the bus in the mornings. I've decided that this was a perfect transition for me to start getting up before the sun is even contemplating getting up to go running and start training for the 5K that I will run in August.

Running a 5K has been the HARDEST goal for me. Ever. I love my sleep in the mornings. I have mental blocks telling me that the harder I try, I won't lose weight anyway. It'll just come back. I rely on food for comfort, for reward, and to take out my stress. Then, I'm just upset by my choices again. I won't be ready for the 5K because I'll quit running and lose my motivation anyway. Well, I've decided to train my negative mind to GO AWAY! I'm not listening anymore.

Instead, to motivate me to get moving and keep going, I listen to the following songs on my shuffle, in this order. (Now you will really have insight into my soul and personality.)

"Eye of the Tiger" from the Rocky III
"Beat It" by Michael Jackson (pretty much his best song ever)
"We Will Rock You" by Queen
"Tubthumbing" by Chumbawamba
"Holding Out for a Hero" by Bonnie Tyler
"It's My Life" by Bon Jovi -- the song that gets me going no matter what!
"Viva La Vida" by Coldplay
"Beautiful Day" by U2
"Send Me an Angel" by Real Life

What song(s) get(s) you moving?

Our Lot in Life

It seems that every time Matt and I make a "big" decision, that decision comes with its own set of trials. Going to college, we both had to take out multiple loans and live off the government for a while. When we decided to have children, they didn't come when we thought. When they finally did come, they came too early and each had his/her own struggles. Adoption is its own story with its ups and downs (more downs as of late), as you dear readers know. The "easiest" blessing that has come is Matt's job. It sort of fell into his lap (although he has his own trials at work -- who doesn't?).

The struggle has not stopped with the buying the house. We were supposed to close on it yesterday. Due to the fault of those working out the paperwork side of things, that did not happen. We technically "broke" contract and had to wait until today to close. Thus, the seller does not HAVE to sign the agreement; although when our realtor talked to the seller's realtor last night, he agreed that it shouldn't be a problem.

Everything seemed to be going so easily this afternoon as we went to the title company and signed all of the paperwork and handed over our life's savings (our down payment). Two hours later, our realtor received a call that there was a problem. (I was at our church's youth group activity then and telling everyone the good news of us closing on our house.) The seller is drowning so much in bills that he owes more than he realized, and he's not sure he wants to sell his house anymore. Most everyone else can see that he really SHOULD sell his house so he doesn't drown in his debt anymore.

Where do we stand now? Right where we are. Who knows what will happen? Our realtor is working his tail-end off so we don't get the short end of the stick. He's very irate at the people who made us break our contract. If that had not happened yesterday, the seller would have been forced to sign the contract and would NOT have gotten in a huge argument with his ex-wife at the title company. (Glad I wasn't there, that would have been AWKWARD!)

Our realtor was surprised at Matt's reaction, or lack-of reaction, to this news. Basically, there's NOTHING we can do but wait. We are willing to accept that we may not get this house. There will be all kinds of headaches associated with this. My reaction: it figures. Nothing comes easy for us. It's just our lot in life, and we'll hang on. We've learned to plan and prepare, but never expect to know what will really happen. Life never seems to go the way we have planned.

Funny that one of the talks I heard tonight had to do with falling down and rising up again. . . that's our life. Actually, in between the headache and few tears (not many), I laugh because I have to.

"Flippin'" Support Team

The whole team came out for breakfast yesterday to support Jackson while he was eating breakfast yesterday morning. They gave him a good pep talk about being brave at the doctor's office.

Rico and Jackson waiting patiently (for a brief moment) at the doctor's office. This picture was not staged, believe me. And when I say brief, I mean that Jackson only sat still for a brief moment! He spent most of the waiting time switching chairs and hiding in the corner for fun.

So, when the discharge nurse sent us home on Monday with a prescription for Jackson's pain, I was under the impression that my child would be drowsy and want to sleep all day for the next two days. Unfortunately, the medicine has had the opposite effect. My child is hyper. You wouldn't know he had eye surgery two days ago with the energy he has! We have now officially switched over to Tylenol. No more of this controlled substance stuff here. Overall, Jackson seems to be healing well. He will miss another week of school until he visits the eye doctor next Tuesday. He's such a trooper!

Eye Update.

Yes, today Jackson had surgery on his right eye. The pressure was just too high to do anything else. He's doing well so far, but of course he's still on his pain medication. I'll give more details very soon.

Revised Update

As of this morning, the EUA/possible surgery is scheduled for March 19 around 5:30 p.m. I know, I'm very, very excited to have to make my 4 year old fast all day to see the doctor. Nice. It's no wonder he hates doctors. Now do you understand why we haven't been to the dentist yet? Any doctor-looking person is just plain scary to Jackson. Poor kid. Let's just hope we get better by next week so the anesthesiologists will feel comfortable with Jackson's health.

Update

1. Jackson and I are still sick. Matt seems to be doing really well today (knock on wood).

2. Still no word from the surgery scheduler about Jackson's EUA. I left another message today. I'm starting to get annoyed.

3. Penny and Desmond are my favorite characters on LOST.

Quick Eye Update

So the last week has been a little stressful. We put Jackson on the new eye drop for a day, and his eye was so irritated it was blood shot. We stopped the drop, visited the doctor, and we've determined that Jackson will have another EUA (exam under anesthesia) with possible surgery. The surgery will entail putting a little tube in his eye to help drain the fluid. There are complications that can happen, but if Jackson's eye pressure does not come down, then the optic nerve in his right eye will continue to deteriorate, and Jackson will go blind. Anyway, Matt and my dad gave Jackson a blessing over the weekend that the pressure would go down. Let's just hope that by the time the EUA comes around, the pressure will have dropped enough that they won't have to operate. Jamie recently asked me if I could count how many surgeries Jackson has had. And no, I've lost track. If I count the EUAs, we're well over 20! If we're just counting surgeries "under the knife" I think it's around 10.