Relationship Status: Brothers

You tell me how this relationship is going.

Day of Hope

A very good friend asked if I would share my testimony of Jesus Christ as it relates to Easter and Clarissa in a few sentences for her children's music lesson in church.  I want to share it here today because my heart is full as it always is on this Day of Hope.

Easter has become my favorite holiday because of its meaning.  Over five years ago, I had a baby girl who was born too small to live for more than a few minutes because she was born so early.  She was one pound and the size of a small baby doll.  She was the most precious thing I ever held.  When she was born, I knew she wouldn't live for very long, and that broke my heart.  After she died, I was the saddest I had ever been.  Only one truth gave me comfort.  That truth is the resurrection. 

Over 2000 years ago another baby was born.  He grew to be a man, and he suffered for our sins, our pains and our sorrows, and then he died for us.  Three days after he died, he conquered death by being resurrected.  This gift is given to all of us.  I know that one day my little girl will be resurrected and that she, too, will conquer death because Jesus Christ did.  One day my little girl will live again, and she will be able to be reunited with her body again.  I will get to hold her and be her mommy again if I keep my covenants.  Easter means hope.  Easter reminds me that we will live again and be reunited with those we love.  I know that Jesus Christ is our Savior, that he loves us, and that he lived and died for all of us.  I bear my testimony of him that He lives again.  In the name of Jesus Christ.  Amen.

Something to Laugh About

This was completely hilarious to me.  No, it's not a real movie; it's a parody of an academy award winning movie.

Come What May and Love It!

The message that lifts me today.  Sometimes I admit that the "love it" part is pretty hard, so my goal today is to laugh and to just enjoy today.  (Sorry that the video size is off, I tried to fix it, but it's not really my area of expertise.)

Come What May and Love It by Joseph B. Wirthlin

Pop Goes My Heart

I'm sorry for how heavy the previous post was.  I'm really okay, and I wrote that post when I was still so emotional about everything.  I'm really fine.  I promise.

So, it's time for a very happy post.  I have a list of "happy" songs -- the ones that just make me smile when I listen to them and help me find my happy place.  "Pop Goes My Heart" is one of them -- thanks to my beloved Natalie!  Jackson has this song/video down!  I recorded the video of Jackson back in January, but it still makes me happy to watch it.

You may want to watch the original video first, just to refresh your mind, and then watch Jackson's below it so you can see how well he can imitate the moves.

And since this time, we have initiated the Pajama Dance Party at our house.  Many nights during the week between 7:00 and 8:00 you can catch us doing our crazy dance moves.  We may not appear on "So You Think You Can Dance," but we do know how to have a good time!

Look Not Behind Thee

For all my friends who are ready to move on, and for me, too!  The best is yet to come!

An Attitude of Gratitude: Wednesday

Did you read my post here?  If you did, then you will understand why I was grateful beyond words to witness what Jackson did on his own Sunday.

Changes

Do you remember the movie Big with Tom Hanks?  Most people, when they think of that movie, think of the scene when Josh and his boss play "Chopsticks"  and "Heart and Soul" on the giant floor piano.  This morning, I thought of that movie, but not the piano scene.  When I woke up, I groggly stumbled to the bathroom, blinded myself by turning on the light, and then like all mornings, looked in the mirror.  I took my hands and rubbed my mid-section -- the part of me that I wish would change the fastest but is taking the longeset.  Then, I thought of the following scene from Big (sorry it's dubbed over in Spanish, but you don't need the words anyway).




As I looked at myself in the mirror, I thought, "What was I expecting?  Change over night?"  Let's face it.  How many of us have these high expectations for ourselves?  You embark on a journey of change, and you know it's going to be hard, but this hard?  The first week, two weeks, even the first month can be motivating.  You're pushing yourself, making the necessary changes, and you see some progress: transformation.  You're finally becoming what you've always wanted to be.  Really!  It can happen!  That brick wall is being torn down.

Six months later,  you look in the mirror, and you still see that same person six months ago.  How can that be?  Oh, yeah, remember that stumbling block you tripped over?  The one you stood behind forever because you just let it stop you?  Real, true change takes time, patience, endurance, work, and more time.  Is it possible?  Absolutely.  Will it come over night and stay for good?  Nope.  Work, work, work, work, work, WORK!  Sometimes it's downright annoying.  What's it going to take?  Focus and refocus. 

The problem I find is that all too often when we are changing or watching others change, we keep a mental picture in our heads; one to which we keep going back.  Maybe we are changing, but all we see are the negative side of things.  It's so easy to hit that one little road bump that seems so huge at the moment and let it stop us.  We just can't do it, or so we say to ourselves.

Sometimes, we even go in reverse, getting further and further away from that block that seems huge.  All we can see is that it's big.  The thing is, though, if we endure, push, fight, that is when change happens.  Eventually, we notice we're over that bump.  Will there be more stumbling blocks along the way?  Absolutely.   The thing is, though, that when we finally look back at our progress, that first block is now small.  Even if we trip backwards over it again, we know we've done it before.  The point is to get back up immediately and jump it while we still have the strength.

This has been a lot of rambling, I know, I can feel it.  What I'm saying is that change is possible, for everyone, but it takes time, and lots of it.  The harder we work, the less time it takes, but sometimes we have to give ourselves a chance to catch up to our expectations. 

I have a long way to go in my journey to love and accept myself, but I'm getting closer.  Last weekend I had a meltdown.  Life finally caught up to me, and I sobbed over the things I can't change right now.  That overwhelming helpless feeling took over me.  Three things in my mind stuck out the most that I just couldn't change at the moment.  For a second, I thought, "What about your weight, who you are?  What about that?"  Normally, those prompts would open more flood gates and frustrations.  This time, for the first time, they didn't.  I felt in control.  I have seen successes, albeit not as quickly as I wanted them, but still success.  For the first time in my life, I could say that I was okay with who I am at the moment because I have seen change.  I'm finally learning to love myself, overweight and all.

A Pirate Affair

Arrrr, Mateys!  It's Pirate Day at school! When the Parent Council was planning Spirit Week, I wasn't really sure I could do Pirate Day without spending money.  I was sure I was going to end up in the Dollar Store trying to scrounge something up.   Guess what?  I didn't need to.  Let's think about this:  Pirates look the way they do because they wear what they have, which is trashed.  So, I went digging in my sewing box, and this is what I found:  a old white blouse of mine that I'd taken the sleeves off to use for another dress that needed them, an old tie to a robe, and some red fabric.  The pants were from Jackson's puppy costume when he was 3!!!   Yep, they still fit his waist (that's how you know you've got a skinny kid). 

In the beginning, he wasn't sure he wanted to be a pirate, but with a little coaxing,  he relented.

Getting into it. . . (notice his crooked loose tooth)

 Granted, I tried to convince him to be Black Jack or something vicious, but he officially picked the name "Ruby Dooby" as his pirate name.

Really playing it up, "Arrrrr!"  

And since we know that Jackson makes up a song for everything, here's his first Pirate Song. (Don't forget to turn off the music at the bottom of the page.)

Personally, I think I have the cutest living pirate, and I'm not biased or anything. . .

First Formspring - For Fun

Do you like my use of alliteration in the title?

So, I feel like a bit of a goof.  Remember how a week or two ago I posted the Formspring question box on the side of my blog?  Well, I got your questions but quickly deleted them thinking they were randomly generated questions that Formspring automatically gives you to answer.  So, yeah, I'm an idiot.  As a favor, could you PLEASE ask those questions again? This time I WILL answer them. 

Speaking of which, I remember two questions that were asked.  The first question that I remembered I figured out who asked it and asked her to ask me again so I can really answer it.  The second question was one that I seriously thought was one of those randomly generated questions because I couldn't figure out why anyone would send it to me, but it's the ONE I remember.  So, without further adieu, here's my first Formspring Question:

If you had the chance to meet George W. Bush, what would you ask him?

 First of all, I have to admit that I'm not very good at following politics, so who is George W. Bush?!  JUST KIDDING!!  Actually, it's true, I don't care for politics, but I know I should.  I loathe the finger-pointing and mudslinging that must always accompany a debate or political campaign.  Since I'm such a sucker for religious stories, I'd probably ask him if there was ever a specific incidence (and would he share it) when he felt guided by God and not by his staff.  Was there anything he did that he KNEW he was supposed to do that went against what he was being counseled by his staff?  

Then, I'd ask him to say the word "nuclear" for me.

Oh, and here's what I remember most about Pres. George W. Bush:

For Your Viewing Entertainment

Another puppet show. . .

The best part of these is watching Jackson WATCH the puppet shows and repeating everything "Cindy" (Mom's puppet) says.  One day I'll record him watching these, that would be fun. . . or at least for me it would be.   Here's the next video after the dentist visit:

Gooood Morning!

The best part of waking up . . .

is doing a little dancing with your best girl (that's me, of course), Mrs. Stiller (the puppet), and a penguin to Bon Jovi's "It's My Life."

(Please forgive the bad picture, my camera wasn't cooperating, and Jackson can only cooperate for so long! Thus, you only see half of his face.)

Let's just say when your kiddo asks, "Mom, you wanna come dance with me in my room?" You go and boogie your heart out.

The "Water" Park

This weekend, Amy and Debbie (two of my sisters-in-law) were both in town.  On Friday after Amy had driven all day to get here, she picked up Debbie's three youngest, and we met up with her and her crew (her kids plus Debbie's), and Ken and Amy and Annie.  We all went to a park nearby, which is a perfect place to go on a hot summer's day.  Who needs to pay for the pool when you've got this park?!

Here you can,

1.  Wade in the water.

 (Face it. . . you can't resist them either!  From left to right: Aaron, Taylor, Richie, Jackson)

2.  Climb the water fall.

Aaron wants YOU!

3. Taste the river rocks.

 Yeah, those aren't grapes she's munching on! 

  Amy and Livvy

4.  Sit on the grass and eat your hat with Annie.

Uplift

For all the times that I say that I need to drop my Facebook account, it's when a friend or family member posts these uplifting messages that I'm reminded why I keep it.


I hope they lift your spirits the way they did mine. (Double click to see the full size.)

Need a Laugh or TMI?

I can say that my man is an Old Spice Man. Is yours?

TK Bowling - May 7, 2010

This year I've been able to go to on all but one of Jackson's field trips. (I was sick in December and just couldn't do it.) The culmination of them all was the bowling trip. Jackson was very excited because he loves to bowl. The bowling alley requested that the kids use the ramps to get the ball down the lane, and they put up bumpers. In all honesty, I needed the bumpers more than Jackson.

Jackson was not a good sport with the pictures either. He didn't have time to stop and smile at me when there was as screen full of scores and numbers to watch after each attempt. In the first picture, he's pointing at the screen behind me because he was mad that I made him stop so I could get a picture.

I had issues with my camera that day; the lighting in the bowling alley confused it, I think. (C'mon, I'm not going to admit that it was "User Error.")


Here's an example Jackson bowling. Of course, he wanted to use the 10-pound ball rather than wait for the lighter one to return, and you get to see how he reacts to his obviously interfering Mother.



The entire time we bowled he did not want to use the ramp. He wanted to bowl himself without that thing, so on his last turn, I let him push the ball down the lane.




We had a good time, and Jackson beat my score. I don't remember what we got, but yes, he beat me. Did I mention that I'm not a good bowler? Below is the best picture I could get of Jackson that day. Like I said, he was being a stinker and would not pose.

What IF? A Portrait of Infertility

Did you know that this week is National Infertility Awareness Week? I know I've mentioned this before, but technically I'm not infertile; however, I can't have children. I feel like I can relate to a lot of the feelings that come from not being able to bear more children. Six months ago I posted a link to an article called "Infertility Etiquette." If you haven't read it, you should. I posted my opinion about the article as well at this post: A Little Etiquette Reminder.

Today I want to share with you a video that portrays the many emotions and questions that I have asked myself over the last 4 1/2 years.

What IF? A Portrait of Infertility from Keiko Zoll on Vimeo.

You can visit Keiko's blog here: Hannah Wept, Sarah Laughed (and I just love the title of her blog!)

Happy Easter from the Muppets

Movie Making, Joke Telling, and Puppet Masters

Jackson loves the camera, too! The absolute best part of Jackson's videos is when he watches them and laughs hysterically at himself.


After several days of the same type of video (that got quite annoying to listen to over and over), I showed him how fun it could be to make puppet shows; and then I tried to teach him the art of telling Knock-Knock jokes.




I'm not a very good joke teller; my delivery stinks. I think Jackson probably needs a new teacher.
We had fun anyway.

Being a Boy Scout . . . Again

Recently Matt has been able to get more involved with the Boy Scouts in our area. Last week they had their own "grown-up" Pinewood Derby. If you know Matt, then you know that he went all out. In fact, his car had no wood in it at all.

He named his car, "The Hurricane." I'm sure you can see why.
Want to know how he did? Watch this clip (while tilting your head to the side, of course -- I wanted to get more of the track in the shot, thus making you tilt).




Yes, he won. Were the boys upset? Nope. In fact, they loved it. We had a blast watching all of the cars race over and over again. Of course, the rules weren't the same ones that the Cub Scouts use, and they had two classes: "Powered" and "Open" (gravity powered). My favorite car was the one with a steel bolt taken off an 18-wheeler truck strapped to the top and spray-painted black. It was known for it's destruction of literally knocking other cars off the track at the bottom.

Matt and I agree that our absolute favorite part of the night was not when he won four gift certificates to Bajio and two bags of beef jerky, but when after a race Jackson matter-of-factly called out, "My daddy won!"