The Bond

The Bond

By: LK 

Written Friday, September 22, 1995

When I told you the other day,

The words didn't come out the right way.

I think I pushed you farther,

And that only makes things harder.

It would be so very kind

If you could just read my mind.

If only I knew

Just how to tell you.

We are drifting apart,

But listen to my heart --

We are really close friends

Let's not let our friendship end.

Let's try to look and see

What things could really be.

Just remember -- No matter what --

We are friends with a bond of love.

In high school I always wrote my poems with a specific person in mind.  I can't even tell you which friend this poem was for.  I can guarantee, though, that I wrote a copy of it and gave it to that person.  I know that this is a very simple poem, and you can see how much I tried to rhyme and keep the number of syllables even in the lines that do rhyme with each other.

So, now that you've read the sappy poem, here's what I've thought about it.  I could change the "friends" part and make it about my husband and my marriage.  I mean, honestly, the running joke in our house is that we wish we were mind readers -- ha!

Seriously, though, this week in our marriage, we've had some life-changing experiences.  To the outside person, you might not notice much, honestly.  Really, the changes have come between the two of us.  I credit my friend for posting this blog post.  In it, she posted a link to the article that has changed our marriage.  The article is called "A Wake-up Call to Wives," and can be found here.  After you read that, you should go and read the article called "A Wake-up Call to Husbands."  I read both articles and then when Matt got home from work, I told him that there were a couple of article I wanted him to read so we could discuss them.  I happened to leave them up on the computer so I wouldn't forget the links, and Matt read them without my prodding.

The rest of that evening, we discussed very openly some of the things we wanted to work on.  Since that time, I feel like a barrier has broken down in our marriage.  It's weird, though, because I didn't feel like we really had a lot of barriers, but once we talked, I felt freer.  The bond solidified between us, and the communication opened.

The timing was right.  I'm so thankful for a husband who is willing to change with me.  Our discussion didn't become a finger-pointing contest.  We were both very careful to listen.  We were both able to say things like, "I need" and be honest about it.  There weren't "You need to. . ."  We both had things we felt we needed to do without having the other person point it out for us.

Mine:  I'm going to strive to be a better homemaker.  Modern technology has made me lazy.  It's easy to get caught up online or just wandering the house.  My house isn't always clean -- time to change that.  Time to take pride in my job.

Matt:  Well, all week his changes have shined through, but here's one example.  Last night I started to feel a little unwell, (Yes, I was ill and needed a little pill. . . hehe. . .) and this morning, I did not have any energy.  He convinced me to stay home, and he took both boys with him to church. He cleaned the kitchen, got the boys ready, and told me to take it easy.  When I fought him on it, and told him he could keep the baby home, he referenced the article.

If anything, this week has been the week that has bonded my marriage.  I love Matt with my entire being.  He's my match; while we're not perfect, and we both know that it's not going to be smooth sailing here on out, we believe we can overcome anything together.

Matt, I love you.

True Love

True love is knowing the way to your spouse's heart.

Matt knows me too well.  Cookies -- yum!  Butterscotch Blondies -- Double Yum!

This was his first time making them, my first time eating them, and I think they turned out just right.

See?

See?!  They were both totally there together without me!  I think they both look entirely too happy to be there without me. . .

No, I'm not obsessed or anything, just missing my best friend.  :)

Green Today and a bit Blue

Two of my most favorite people met up together in NYC, and I didn't get to be there with either one.  If I were to go to NYC, both of these people are ones I would choose to go with, and yet they are both there, and I am here. . . sad.  Really, when my husband told me that he just said "Good-bye" to Natalie, I had to shove a cupcake in my mouth to keep me from sobbing.  See, that is sad.

Well,  you don't get pictures until I get one in an email from my bestest. . . until then, here's one of my husbando in front of Rockefeller Center from yesterday.

Separated

This is Matt's view for 5 days. 

I'm only a tad jealous. . . okay, I'm really jealous.  On my bucket list:  to visit NYC at least once in my life.

The List

Fifteen years ago I remember writing a list about my dream guy.  It was long.  I typed it up, printed it out, and hung it on my wall.  On this list were things like, handsome, good sense of humor, returned missionary, Eagle Scout, great home teacher, taller than me, and active in the church.  I didn't know what he would look like or where I would meet him, but I had this list. 

When I went to college and really started branching out of my little, sheltered world, "the list" really helped me.  Before you start to roll your eyes, I didn't take this list with me on all my dates.  I didn't look over it carefully before I went out and then start interviewing each guy based on the "qualifications" on my list.  First of all, I didn't get asked out much on single dates; in fact, I was asked out ONCE during my freshman year of college and in my sophomore year I didn't get asked until I met Matt.  I did go on several group dates, but these were usually arranged by girls.  The guys we asked for our friends were always so good to play along. 

While it may seem shallow or even unfair to compare men to a list like this, I realize it was a really good thing.  If I expected the man I married to have all of these qualities, then I needed to work on them as well.  I always had it in mind.  I remember when I was dating Matt that I looked over the list and pleased to see that he seemed to fit all of my criteria.  I remember a blow when I did ask him about one or two on the list, and he told me that he wasn't so good in that area.  Of course, I didn't tell him about my list, that would be harsh.

When Matt proposed to me, I was working as a server at JB's.  The night managers quickly became surrogate fathers and good friends to us who worked there.  One of these great men wisely advised me to ask Matt why he loves me and then to come back and report.  The answer to this question, my manager told me, would be very telling about the kind of man Matt was.

I was nervous walking home from school with Matt that day because I knew I had to ask him this question.  I remember Matt being a little taken aback by this question, but he had a good, genuine answer for me.  What that answer was, exactly, I can't remember (so shoot me); but I do remember it had something to do with the fact that I loved him. 

Sooooo. . . back to the list. My Matt wasn't everything on that list, but I loved him very much. I realized that the man I would marry would not be perfect, but he would have the potential to be perfect one day just as I hoped I would be able to be.  The day I threw my list away, I knew that marriage was about working together towards exaltation.  Marriage is about teamwork.  And, well, eleven years later, I personally believe I picked a great team. 

Happy Anniversary, Matt!  I love you.

What Makes Me Smile Today. . .

I absolutely love this guy for all of his mad SKILLZ.  This is just one example of his awesomeness. . .

Something Special

A few weeks ago when Jackson was really struggling, Matt promised Jackson that they would do something special together, just the two of them, if Jackson could "be happy for Mommy" that day.  Well, that day didn't go so well.  A few days later, however, we ran errands and took him everywhere, and he was so good.  As we thanked him for being so good, he spoke up, "Dad, remember something special?"  How could we not reward him then?

Matt had a great idea to take him ice skating since he'd never been.  Matt invited me along, but since I don't have great skating ankles (they turn in all the time), I decided to go and be the videographer/photographer.  It sure was fun to see Jackson's abilities improve over two hours.  I guess we just need to keep taking him.

Spy Games

On Friday night we were invited to attend a Spy Party, so Matt and I became well-known spies:  Michael Vaughn and Sydney Bristow.  I wish I had the mad skills that Sydney has, her unique wardrobe,  or even just the waist size, but I don't.  I only could conjure up a blond wig and personal facts. Matt had gadgets, a trench coat, and even a fake, but real-looking gun.  Jackson's babysitter gave me the funniest looks by trying not to give me funny looks, and my friend and party hostess didn't recognize me at first.  With all intents of getting our picture taken, I took my camera, and then I forgot to have someone take a picture of us! So, you'll just have to imagine it.

One of the requests of attending was to bring a spy-themed food.  So, this is what I came up with.  I hope you can tell* what it is supposed to be:

I'm not a big fan of chocolate cake, but it was fun to make, and I ate more than I should anyway.  The filling is frosting with red hots and coconut. 



*If you can't tell, it's a bomb. . .

Timeless Sport

Something that I just love about Matt is his ability to get along with my brothers.  When I got married, I was nervous because Matt really (to put it nicely) dislikes playing basketball.   (All of you who grew up in Lincoln County just fell off your chairs, didn't you?)  You see, my dad was a coach and my brothers were athletes.  They didn't play every sport, some of my brothers played more sports than others, but nevertheless, they were all good at them.  My dad at one point in his career was coaching football, basketball, and track.  In the end, though, the ONE sport that all of us played and that my dad coached longest was basketball.  Even after I quit playing, I was my dad's team's manager.  We sort of breathed basketball for many years in my house.  Now, hopefully, you understand my nervousness.

However, I really didn't have anything to worry about.  Matt can hold his own; I don't mean playing basketball.  Matt has his own abilities and he can best anyone (at least so far that I've seen) at a timeless classic - a sport that's been around even before basketball.  It requires precision and skill, and the perfect "equipment."  And here, in Bellingham, there was plenty of what he needed:

water,

rocks (okay, not those kind),

and a competitor (my brother, Nathan). 

That's right, my husband is the best Rock Skipper you'll meet.  Notice how he took his time finding the rock (you almost got bored waiting, didn't you?).  Honestly, I know that video isn't fantastic quality; that it's really hard to see the rock skipping, but believe me it went far.  Matt really is good at this "sport." Don't believe me?  When he got home from scout camp last week, he had an injury from rock skipping again.  Luckily it was only cut, not a pulled muscle, and he came out "champ" again.

Even Jackson tried to get in on the action.

He just needs some practice with his form and positioning (stand outside of the water, bud!)

August 3, 2010 - Bellingham, WA

While the Cat's Away. . .

What Matt does while I'm away. . .(yes, he created the video - double click it to see it full-size)




And yes, I think he's talented!

Matt vs. Jackson, Do They Really Know Each Other?

On Sunday, Father's Day, Matt and Jackson were asked to participate in a Father's Day Panel activity in Primary (the children's class in our church).   The game was a lot like the Newlywed Game where the teacher asks the question to the Father and then the son has to guess what his dad answered and vice versa.  Well, I knew this was coming, and I knew that Jackson would have no idea what some of the questions meant, so I prepped them two weeks before.  (You think that's cheating. . . yeah, well, I'm not sure if it really helped either Matt or Jackson!!!)

 Last night at a primary meeting, I was told that Jackson was the hit of the show, and that my friends' children have been talking Jackson's answers nonstop this week (not sure how I feel about that one yet. . .).  So, I decided I need to share the interview with you.

First up were the dads, the boys went out of the room (there were only three father/son combos being interviewed today).


Questions for Dads:
1.  When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?   An astronaut
2.  What is your favorite sport?  Baseball
3.  What do you do at work?  Engineer for a T.V. Station
4.  What is your favorite dessert?  Ice cream

Then the kids came back in. . ."What do you think your dad said?"
1.  Jackson had no clue what the teacher meant when she asked the question.  He listened to the other two kids' answers and liked one of the other father/son answers:  Policeman.
2.  I wondered if the prepping really helped because Jackson answered baseball, of course that was after the teacher gave him a multiple choice guess!
3. This was easy for Jackson because he knows where Daddy works and answered loudly and proudly; now if we could have gotten Matt to answer not so specifically, they would have been awarded full points for that question.
4. Classic Jackson answer (trying to be very silly), "vanilla cake."

Questions for Kids (this is where it gets good):
1.  What do you want to be when you grow up?  Immediate answer, "Like 1,000!  Like up to here! and then I can jump on the trampoline up to 1,000!"  My interpretation:  "I want to be so much older and taller that I can jump really high on my trampoline."  Teacher's interpretation:  Professional trampoline jumper.
2.  What is your favorite food?  Of course, Jackson answered something only to produce a laugh at first; he said, "Vanilla-watermelon-ice cream-pizza," and NO he did NOT mean that he likes those four things separately.  I had to tell him from the back of the room, "Not 'what do you like for pretend,' but for real." Then he answered honestly, "Pizza."
3. What is your birthdate, day and year?  He knew this, except for the year, and I helped out on that one.
4. What is your favorite past time?  ALL of us in the room were expecting Jackson to say something about riding his bike, jumping on the trampoline, playing the Nintendo, or playing the computer.  It was NONE  of those things.  It was "Read books."  Um. . . yeah, he rarely just picks up a book to just read for fun! (I know, I know - my fault -- got to work on that one.)

What do you think your kid answered?
1. Older and Taller (Matt really does know Jackson, but since it was interpreted as a Professional Trampoline Jumper, they only got partial points.)
2. Pizza
3. Matt got this one right -- he better have, we only have two kids!
4. Riding a bike -- yeah, see I told you; no one would have thought it would be reading.


So, basically, the favorite Jackson quote of the week is "What do you want to be when you grow up?" 

"Like 1,000! Like up to here!"

Because we ALL know that bigger is better and older = taller.

Being a Boy Scout . . . Again

Recently Matt has been able to get more involved with the Boy Scouts in our area. Last week they had their own "grown-up" Pinewood Derby. If you know Matt, then you know that he went all out. In fact, his car had no wood in it at all.

He named his car, "The Hurricane." I'm sure you can see why.
Want to know how he did? Watch this clip (while tilting your head to the side, of course -- I wanted to get more of the track in the shot, thus making you tilt).




Yes, he won. Were the boys upset? Nope. In fact, they loved it. We had a blast watching all of the cars race over and over again. Of course, the rules weren't the same ones that the Cub Scouts use, and they had two classes: "Powered" and "Open" (gravity powered). My favorite car was the one with a steel bolt taken off an 18-wheeler truck strapped to the top and spray-painted black. It was known for it's destruction of literally knocking other cars off the track at the bottom.

Matt and I agree that our absolute favorite part of the night was not when he won four gift certificates to Bajio and two bags of beef jerky, but when after a race Jackson matter-of-factly called out, "My daddy won!"

The Place Where Trampolines are Everywhere

In commemoration of the 250th post, I shall post a video for you of Matt and Jackson jumping around at the "trampoline place." Okay, actually, it's not in commemoration, I was going to post it anyway.



I can honestly tell you that Jackson LOVED the place. For one hour, he ran around and jumped, jumped, and jumped some more. I personally think the price is reasonable, and maybe next time I'll jump along with the boys. Maybe. . .

Creditable

The last time you watched sports on TV did you watch the credits?

Credits?! Who cares about the credits?

Okay, the last time you watched any show did you stick around for the credits? I usually only watch the credits if I'm looking for someone or something in particular, but usually I flip the channel as quickly as I can to see what's coming on next on another network before the commercials come on or shut off the TV. Sound familiar?

Next, have you ever thought about the people in those credits (besides the fact that many of them have hilarious names)? If you seriously answered, "Yes" to any of these questions, then I commend you.

Finally, have you thought about the people who aren't in the credits but truly deserve it?

I would like to add my own credit to the credits. I pay tribute to the people most viewers don't even know to think about. I credit those people who stay in the studio all night long (mainly college students) to make sure the shows are up and running 24/7.

I credit those engineers that make sure the computer equipment that processes all the shows stays running and doesn't "dump" any of them. I credit the engineers that go back into work at "unscheduled" hours and work for another six hours because the computer crashed that was processing all of the shows (getting them ready to air) and forgot the data was even there.

I credit Matt, my husband.

Last night at 8:45 p.m. I came home from a church meeting, and I saw the look in my husband's eye that said something was terribly wrong. He explained to me what happened at work (see paragraph above) in a very simplified way so that my right brain could understand all that left-brained stuff; and then he told me, "I'll see you sometime tomorrow." We said a prayer together just before he walked out the door.

I next talked to him when he got home this morning at 4:14 a.m. If you take out an hour's worth of driving (total), Matt spent six and a half hours fixing the problem. He told me that as soon as he got in the car, he had an idea (inspiration from the Lord, he said), and then he called two other engineers to help him. He knew that He would have to be the one to fix the problem as he was the only one who knew how to fix that system, but he needed the other two to brainstorm ideas together.

I credit those two men who helped my husband with what they could for as long as they could. After they left (about 1 a.m.), Matt stayed almost three hours longer. I'm not angry or bitter in any way. I'm utterly grateful and honored to call them friends.

You see, I was so worried that Matt wouldn't be able to fix the problem - not because they are TV shows and all the producers would be raging mad that they're hard work was lost (I would be, and so would you) - I was worried to see my husband come home defeated. He would be defeated in every sense of the word.

Did you ever think that when something goes wrong that the engineers actually pray over a solution together? Well, they do. I found out this morning that these engineers actually say a prayer when they need it most. How many of us pray that we will be able to do our job to the best of our ability? I know when I was a teacher I said many prayers in my heart that I would be able to teach a difficult or confusing concept, talk to parents about a difficult child, or not lose my temper. I just never thought of my husband praying for a server to have the information and to work.

I've had people ask me why Matt works where he does when he could be working somewhere else making much more money. Matt works here because he loves what he does (his job description), he loves the people he works with, and he knows that the company that he works for is reputable and its purpose is to uplift and inspire people around the world. That company will NEVER run questionable content. Matt works here because he loves what he does.

I can honestly say that I love what my husband does, and I'm honored to be his wife. I'm honored to know that he takes the time and feels comfortable to pray with his co-workers for help. I'm honored to know that he asks for the Lord's help in all of his dealings.

So, the next time you are watching a basketball game (perhaps you'll watch the games tomorrow night on our network via cable, satellite, or internet), remember that there is someone (maybe my husband or one of his colleagues) in the studio making sure you get to see that game and hear those commentators.

And they deserve credit.

Snow . . .Without Mom

We really do have the "greatest snow on earth," and the back, leg, and arm muscles to prove it! Unfortunately, the "greatest snow" will stick around for three months. That's the downside to having a house that faces north and living in the foothills.

At least one of us loves it!

Now, what do a father and son do while Mommy is away for the week?

1. They first go to Wal-Mart to buy a REAL shovel to push snow off of the driveway and sidewalk.
2. Daddy drags Jackson and his friend around the block on a sled and realizes his mistake of introducing such a fun activity to his son.
3. They eat frozen pizza, grilled cheese sandwiches, quesadillas, and have dinner catered and entertainment provided by Ronald McDonald's company.
4. They go to free museums at the local college campus where Jackson is introduced to the "Magic School Bus" series and dinosaur bones (two different days).
5. Jackson watches his new favorite movie, The Santa Clause, over and over and over and over.

Well, those are some of the things that I heard that they did while I was away. Perhaps they had too much fun and had to ditch the party favors in the trash before I got home. Either way, it doesn't matter. The house was clean, and they were both alive and healthy when they picked me up. I'm happy.

Close Encounters of the Avian Kind

Life was so simple when one didn't have to worry amount ravenous rabid animals...in the house.

For the past few days we have been hearing odd sounds coming from our chimney. We have a large cast iron wood stove downstairs. The sounds have been intermittent so it's been hard to tell what's making the noises.

LeMira came up earlier today and said, "Something is in the chimney pipe." An 8 inch diameter pipe connects the stove to the rest of the chimney up in the ceiling and sure enough, something was making scratching noises inside it. I decided to try turning the flue damper to see if whatever it was might... I have no idea what I was thinking. As I turned it I noticed there was a little more resistance than there should be. "It" started scratching around more now. I turned the knob back the other direction and that's when we heard it.

"It" made a screeching noise and scratched against the metal pipe more furious than before. I must have pinched it with the damper. I quickly turned it all the way to open we heard "it" fall into the wood stove. Everything went silent. "It" didn't make another sound.

Now, what does one do when something that is probably not too happy, has been stuck in my chimney for several days, and was just pinched ends up in the wood stove? The only way out now is through the main doors. I grabbed a flashlight, a metal bucket and the screen for the stove and set out to open the door.

I opened one side and stuck the screen up to the opening. I couldn't see anything. As I opened the other side though the intruder made a break for it. "It" pushed past the screen faster than I could get it in place and burst out into the room. "It" was a bird.


Apparently, it had gotten stuck in the chimney and since it can't fly straight up, it was doomed to live die in my chimney. We tried opening the window but the bird would just fly into the other side with a thud. Then it flew upstairs into the rest of the house.

Fortunately, at the top of the basement stairs is the sliding door leading outside, and it had tried to get out that way, again thwarted by our Windex-clean glass. I opened the sliding door and with the johnny bar gently prodded it out the door, and it flew away. Note that I did say "flew" away. Whatever I did to it earlier was not enough to keep it from flying away. And with that, we were left alone. If we had a video camera, rest assured we would have won $10,000 from AFV.

Bonus points to anyone who can tell what kind of bird it was. I thought it might be a Starling but couldn't see a yellow beak. Then again it was probably covered in soot from the chimney anyways.

And one last note, I'm told that only mammals can get rabies, so ixnay on the rabid part.

Snow Ramp

I don't think I've enjoyed snow this much since I was little. I've never cared much for the cold -- I'm a wuss. However, I sure do love to watch Matt make things for both him and Jackson to enjoy and play together. Today it was a snow ramp in our front yard. Matt converted the snow fort into a ramp for Jackson to sled down. I think Matt is loving to have someone to have fun with -- I can't wait until Jackson will help him.

Loss for Words

For our 100th post, I'd like you to know that living in Artistic Circle can be quite eventful and sometimes exciting, not to mention a little dramatic and worrisome. The only way to get in our neighborhood for a while this afternoon was to prove that you lived here and take some heat from the cop guarding the way. Here's the link to the story that happened just two blocks from our house.

Oh, and Matt spent the evening on TV on KBYU. Okay, he was in the background looking like he was answering phones explaining the whole switch from analog to digital signals. Maybe he did answer a lot of calls, I'll have to find out when he gets home in an hour.

Talented Husband

Last night I remembered again why we bought such a nice camera this spring. Go visit Matt's blog and see what we enjoyed last night. My husband is getting better and better at this photography hobby.