My adoption thoughts are turbulent right now. I have so many doubts, misgivings, resolutions, and conflicts raging in my mind about everything right now. I have several posts back-logged in my brain; one of these days they are just going to spew out everywhere, and then you'll all get more than you want to read in one sitting.
For now, I'll be rereading this post to remind me how far I've come and how much faith I need. Any ideas for replenishing that faith? My stores are drained right now.
I'm sorry you are going through this...sending you calming thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteMy heart hurts so badly to hear that your hurting and turbulent. I wish there was an adoption grocery store where I could go pick up a six pack of adoption faith and a little extra for storage. And place an order for a beautiful child for you! :) Until then, just know that when I've felt completely drained of faith, it has been a certain group of ladies, a good husband similar to Matt, a cute son (almost as endearing as Jackson), and our Heavenly Father that have carried me until I could find my faith again. Know that I love you so much and that I look up to you more than words can express!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, LeMira. I say spew forth all of your feelings (even if not in a public forum) for a catharsis. And maybe browse some Mormon Messages- they always leave me feeling uplifted or refocused. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteP.S. I LOVE the "Six Pack of Adoption Faith" Idea!
You need a day in the temple. BEing close to Christ and our Heavenly Father cures every hurt. Love you LEmira and I will start praying for you more.
ReplyDeleteDo you keep a journal? Sometimes when I read back over my life experiences, my faith is increased because I can clearly see this thread of the Lord's hand in our life, running through it all. I know He knows you and hears your prayers, and will (somehow) make all things work together for you good. Trust Him. Hang in there. You and yours are so very, very loved. I'll say a special prayer for you tonight. If I lived closer I'd take Jackson so you could go do initiatories (I love those) or an endowment session at the temple.
ReplyDelete