Medical Histories

I've had several thoughts going through my mind again about adoption.  Actually, I always have thoughts, but I just haven't written as much about it because I was taking a sort of hiatus, remember?  Anyway, this thought came so strongly yesterday that I just wanted to share it.  It's something I've thought about for a long time, but yesterday it hit me strongly.

Open adoption has so many different levels.  It can mean anything from "you're part of our family," to "here's an email once a year."  Personally, I would prefer the first one, and those who know me really well know that we have an open-door policy at our house, and sometimes I'm the open book that just won't close.  Anyway, as I've been thinking about it, whatever your adoption policy and situation is, I believe that an "Open Dialogue for Life" policy is key, even if it is that the only form of communication is an email once in while.  For the moment set aside the ethical and moral reasons of an open adoption that I've stated many times and consider the logical and emotional importance of knowing your medical history.

Recently, I went to my doctor for my yearly well-check exam.  Exciting, I know.  Anyway, as I was filling out all of the paper work again (new system, new office, etc.), I began thinking, "What if I didn't know any of this?"  I thought about Jackson and the countless questions we've had along the lines of, "Does this or that run in your family or extended family?"  Sometimes it's not even until later in life that diagnoses come.  Things like diabetes, cancer, or personality disorders may not be diagnosed until later in life.

I began thinking about a future adopted child.  Yes, I know that birth parents can fill out a medical history on their families, which I think is very important and helpful; however, like I said, some medical issues don't make an appearance until later on in life.  For example, let's say we adopt a daughter who later in life develops a lump in her breast.  If she has an open dialogue with her birth parents, she can ask if breast cancer runs in her birth family lines.  Perhaps one of her birth grandmothers  or even her birth mother had cysts, never cancer, but she didn't know this until after she placed her daughter for adoption.  With an open dialogue, our "daughter" can get some answers, and  so she is able to not panic.  Perhaps cancer does run in her line, and so when she finds a lump, she doesn't wait until it's too late to call the doctor because she knows the risks.

Another example for you all.  Our hypothetical daughter is now a mother, and she starts noticing some odd behaviors in her toddler.  She's not sure what is going on.  She talks to her mother who then advises her to talk to her birth parents to see if there is any family history of delays or these quirks she's noticing.  Through continual communication, she's able to know that there is something going on and that it runs in her family line.

I pose this to you because these are examples of things that could happen in any of our lives.  Most of us, when something unusual happens in our health, can ask our family members.  We can ask around and find history of depression, bi-polar disorder, speech delays, autism, diabetes, high levels of iron in the liver, and we can get answers.  It doesn't always make the burden easier, but it does bring some clarity of why, or that it's not a complete surprise.  I can't imagine what it would be like to not have that door open to get answers to my questions about why something is happening.   How would it feel to feel lost and baffled?  How would it feel to turn in a blank information sheet to the doctor because you don't have any clue?

Just another reason for an open adoption.