Discipline

I could blame it on having a new baby,

or I could blame it on how busy I am with Parent Council,

or I could accept the blame myself.

Whatever way you slice it, my motivation is gone.  As I told Natalie on the phone today, not only did I jump off the exercising, organizing, get-out-of-the-funk, bandwagon, I shoved it off the cliff.  I've devoted my time to being a mom to a new baby and to Parent Council.  A new baby is overwhelming in itself, but Parent Council takes just as much time and just as much energy.  Basically, to give you an idea, Jackson's school asks that families volunteer 40 hours a year.  Let's just say that I have nearly triple that amount already, and there's no way I can just be done with my volunteering for this year.

So, I'm spent.

I have to say that it feels good to have purpose and to help where help is needed, however, my house is a wreck.  I stack things on my table to be put away later, and they sit there for two weeks or more.  You don't even want to know how long it's been since I scrubbed my kitchen floor (nasty!).  My living room hasn't been uncluttered since the baby arrived.  My bedroom has furniture somewhere under the clothes and papers.  Laundry gets done because I have to have clean clothes, but usually my husband ends up folding it.  Dishes get done because I have a dishwasher and a husband.  Actually, lately, I have been trying to be better at the dishes, but that's because I have to wash bottles anyway.


My body is a wreck.  I eat any sugar-filled food that is available in my house.  I find a reason to "deserve" a doughnut or a treat when I go to the grocery store.  I snack on the chocolate chips in the cupboard, and yes, I even sneak some of Jackson's Halloween candy. (Hey, he's already forgotten about it sitting in on his closet shelf -- how does someone forget about their candy? That would be Matt's DNA at work, not mine.)  I consciously decide to NOT exercise.  The endorphins are almost at a stand-still, and that means my self-worth is diminishing.

I could go on, but you get the idea, and I really don't want to embarrass myself further.  

Thank goodness for good friends.  Today Natalie and I decided to end this de-motivation phase.  As we talked on the phone today, we decided to help each other.  Instead of cutting things off cold turkey and just jumping into good habits, we've decided to "Baby Step" it.  (Yes, you should be imagining Bob Wiley at this point.)  Renewing the habits just seems so overwhelming to do all at once, and it just is doomed to fail.

Today we've decided to be accountable to each other.  Each day we are going to individually pick one task to accomplish.  We know it will snowball and affect the other areas of our lives, but we need to focus small for a while.  I noticed it already.

Today I decided I would finally clear off my kitchen table and put everything away where it goes.  I give you proof:

 I got on a roll and even swept my floor -- maybe that means I will be able to scrub it in the next couple of days. . .I probably will since it's so disgusting.


I'm excited to be accountable again and to see success.  I'm ready to find myself and my furniture again.  :)  Maybe I'll even discover Jillian Michaels and let her beat me up again.  Time to beat the winter blues before they even show up.