Finding the Strength

Four years ago when I was lower than I had ever been, and my misery and grief were more than I could bear at times, a very loving person, trying to be comforting said to me, "I admire your strength. I don't know that I could go through what you are going through." I remember thinking, "I'm not strong; I feel weak. I'm getting through this because I have to. I don't really have a choice." Frankly, I was hurt by this person's comments because I felt that I had to be strong so that I wouldn't be looked down upon by my friends and family during my devastating loss. I wanted to feel weak; I needed to feel weak. In retrospect, I know that my "friend" was trying so hard to be comforting, not knowing what to say.

More importantly, I've learned that we let our trials do one of two things to us: strengthen us or harden us. We all know people who have come out strong from trials, who try to bear others up in their struggles because they don't have to pretend to know how it feels. They know. The strong ones use their strength to let others lean on them for a while.

Others are hardened, bitter, and angry. I admit that we all go through some of this stage in grief (a side-note: I think grief applies to a lot more than just death). Blame falls into this category. These are the people we think of when we say that they "haven't ever gotten over ________." (Personally, I don't think we ever "get over it," but we move on and learn how to deal with it.)

I like to think that I'm not hardened, although I've had to concentrate very hard to not become that way. I can tell that I'm stronger, but I will tell you why. How was I able to be strong? Where did my strength come from?

Answer: YOU -- my family, my friends. I still find strength in all of you. Each of you have had different trials and struggles, and each of you have endured. This week I've been thinking of you and your examples of strength.


I have strong friends who have . . .

1. Lost a job, spent over 8 months without one (still looking), and not lost faith.
2. Been diagnosed with fatal breast cancer, conquered it, and had another child (her third!).
3. Sent a husband off to war, not knowing if he would come back. Thankfully, he did.
4. Lost over 70 pounds and conquered a debilitating medical condition.
5. Buried not one, but two sweet babies with anencephaly , and has dared to get pregnant again (twice) with the chance of the same medical condition reappearing in her children. She has one healthy, beautiful little boy and another on the way!
6. Miscarried one, two, or many, many other times.
7. Struggled (and still do) with infertility.
8. Adopted children.
9. Fostered children.
10. Had a difficult pregnancy, followed by major surgery and complications that arose from the surgery, and had depend on others to care for her family for several months during this time.
11. Children with disabilities.
12. Children who can't control their behavior, and the parents have to do their best, but mainly feel like spectators.
13. A premature child that is continuing to conquer all the odds. (I'm not talking about my own.)
14. A child with a heart condition.
15. Kidney stones. (Personally, I don't know how a woman who has children and kidney stones does it. Doesn't one of those things seem painful enough alone?)
16. Kidney problems that cause her pain every day. Sometimes, pain that does not subside with medication.
17. Gone through a divorce and now share time with their children.
18. Gone through a divorce because of infidelity.
19. Same as 18, except add the fact that her ex-husband after three years completely changed, she forgave and remarried him in the temple and was sealed to him and her two children for time and all eternity. Wow!
20. Suffered real, painful post-partum depression, and yet have had the strength and courage to have more children.
21. Children with developmental delays.
22. Conquered/conquering an eating disorder.
23. To be a single parent.
24. Gone back to school after a 10-year (or so) hiatus.
25. A child with kidney problems.
26. Very "excited" children.
27. Been told that the chances of any/more children are very slim.
28. Been told that they will never be able to have children. Ever.
29. Had an abusive parent and tried to break the cycle.
30. Been single a lot longer than they thought they'd ever be.
31. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
32. Suffered through MS.
33. Struggled with their faith and beliefs.
34. Watched a spouse struggle with their faith and beliefs.
35. Had their parents divorce.
36. Suffered through pregnancy; and then do it again.
37. Started their own businesses.
38. Got pregnant, decided to get married, then get sealed in the temple a year later.
39. Five children all within a year apart of each other, and not knowing how they're going to make ends meet.
40. Buried a child.
41. Been married for almost 40 years and stuck it out through some of the most difficult times.


I think I've made my point. The list goes on and on and on. Because I have friends who endure and make it, I find strength in them. I have one more friend to add to that list. I wish we all knew HIM as well as He wants us to know him.

I have a Friend who has suffered and endured all of the above so that we ALL have someone we can lean on when it seems that no one is there. He knows what it feels like to be alone, and he doesn't want you to feel that way. Turn to Him. He is there. He is Strength, Peace, Comfort, Love. His love for you is unconditional and unstoppable. All you have to do is open the door.

"Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him" (Acts 3:20).


Picture taken from here.