The Adoption Triad: Women Who Have Helped Me See

When you think of the expectant mothers who choose adoption, what age do you think most of them are?  If you think the way I used to, then you probably thought teenager - meaning high school age girls.  Well, most of the birth mothers I meet were not teenagers when they placed their children; they were college age or older.  I'm not saying that there aren't teenagers who choose adoption, but just that I haven't met very many.  Most of these mothers are women. 


In my last post about birth parents, I mentioned that when I started reading birth mothers' stories, I found I was reading the same type of story (mostly birth mothers who placed through LDS Family Services).  It didn't take long to realize to that every birth mother has a unique story with a unique experience.  I'm not even sure how I stumbled across these two blogs, but when I read them, I saw adoption differently.

I would like to introduce you to these two women whom I have come to love - my two FAVES!  Both women have placed children for adoption. I believe that they are two of the most courageous women I know and not just for the reason you may be thinking.  They both have very different stories, but they are both birth mothers that have given pieces of their hearts to someone else.  They both write about the hard-to-hear parts of adoption.  I devour each and every one of their posts, and I usually comment on them.  I'm an open blog-stalker, and they know it.

Meet Kelsey Stewart from the Birth Mother Voice.

Kelsey is the author and illustrator of the children's book, The Best for You. She wrote this book for her children about adoption.   (I'm going to be getting one for my library.)

By reading her blog, I have learned so much about a birth mother's lifelong journey; Kelsey has been a birth mother for 20 years.  She has taught me how adoption can be wonderful and heartbreaking at the same time and that it is a life-long journey. You don't just "get over it" with adoption.   It was while reading her blog that I learned that it isn't just a birth mother's journey.  It's a birth family's journey, too.  I'm so grateful that she wrote about her mother's support and emotions throughout Kelsey's journey.  I never understood that part of the web.

Why do I think she is courageous? Not only has Kelsey placed children for adoption, but she has also been harshly criticized by other birth mothers/first mothers for the choices she has made in her life and for speaking her honest beliefs and for still advocating adoption.  She keeps writing despite the opposition.  I truly believe that Kelsey is a Braveheart.

My absolute favorite post, I think, has to be her Happy Thoughts #7.  I sobbed during that post.  I just went back and reread it and sobbed again!  Happy Thoughts, indeed!

My favorite Kelsey quotes are:

"Adoption is God's love given twice."

(love, love, LOVE that quote)

 

"I believe that if you live in the past you will always find something that did you wrong, but if you look ahead you can change those wrongs with what you have learned."

Oh, I hope you go read some of Kelsey's blog, The Birth Mother Voice!




Meet Michelle, the author of Not quite Juno. My Adoption Story, and one of my best adoption friends (yes, I can call you that because you are), and I love her.

Oh, how I love her blog! From Day One on her blog, Michelle has been very straightforward about her adoption experience. Her story was so unique to me, - one I hadn't even considered an option - and it's so raw and still so fresh. She openly expresses her pain and hurt, and yet she makes me laugh hysterically!  She writes so visually, (she says, "graphically" - ha!) that you feel like you are there with her.

Michelle's story was the most unique of all the stories I read, and of all the stories to read, this is by far the hardest.  Michelle thought she had a big support team following her (and she should have had one), but when she looked behind, there was NO ONE standing in her corner.    After placement, she was ditched by her daughter's adoptive parents, and STILL she advocates adoption.  Even more, she comforts her friends when they need help.  Even though she is hurting, she is reaching out to others.  She is an example of charity to me.   I've never met her face-to-face, and she's become one of my dearest friends.

Here are some of my favorite posts of hers:
If You've Ever Seen a Car Wreck (seriously, you HAVE to read this post)
Adoption Pet Peeves




One of my favorite Michelle quotes:

"I think we do have a stake in our own destinies. We are placed on this planet out of God's divine love for us, and we return to Him out of our unwavering/unconditional love of Him."

Kelsey and Michelle, thank you for helping me to see.