The Answer to a Prayer

After listening to President Thomas S. Monson's talk today about blessings and being an answer to prayers, I feel that it's time that I finally publish this blog post that I started writing a very long time ago.

Two and a half years ago, I was finally taking big strides in networking for adoption.  I was reading everything I could about birth mothers.  I'm not sure how many blogs I read, but it was many.  I joined a site, and I began meeting and chatting with different people.   


That month, April, I had gone to my parents for spring break, which is pretty traditional for me.  My family has always been very faithful at saying prayers together at night and in the morning every day.  Years ago, when I was still young and living at home, we received counsel from our prophet that we should pray for a missionary experience.  For some reason, I haven't been good about that since I've moved from home, but when I was visiting that week, one night, I was asked to give the evening prayer.  I don't remember everything else that I prayed for, but I do remember specifically feeling the need to pray for a missionary experience, and so I did. (That is what I call a prompting from the Holy Ghost.)  I finished out the week with my parents and went home.

Throughout that month, I had been talking to my adoption friend (that I mention at the very end of "the Long Road" post) about this analogy.  I had spent several nights pondering the analogy, and finally, one night, I was compelled to get up and write it (and that is what I call another prompting of the Holy Ghost). I never felt something so strong.  I wrote the post "The Long Road."  (If you haven't read it, go ahead and read it now as it really sets the tone for this post.)  I decided to post it as well to the adoption social networking site I belonged to at the time.

In that post, I talk about a birth mother in a car, pulling over and talking to me.  Now, as I look back, I feel strongly that the birth mother that I talk about is the woman to whom I am reintroducing you today, but I didn't it know it then.

I met many women on Adoption Voices that have shaped my adoption journey and my opinions, but if you'd told me two years ago that I'd meet a sister there, I would have assumed that you'd mean the mother of our future child.  Two years ago, I introduced you to some birth mothers that I admire in the post:  Women Who Have Helped Me See.  Michelle read my "Long Road" post and left a comment that it was the most life-changing post she'd read.  She connected with that post.

That summer, 2010, I began a relationship with Michelle.  It began online in a group chat, progressed to Facebook, and then we began talking on the phone.  I think I was just as scared to dial her phone number for the first time as I was to call Matt on the phone just to hear his voice (before we were dating).  Just so you know, I never joined Adoption Voices or started talking to Michelle because I prayed for a missionary experience.  I wasn't looking to build a relationship so I could find someone to baptize, just so you know.  It was only after a certain turn of events that I remembered that prayer and the timing of everything.

Michelle and I talked about everything.  It was mainly all about adoption for a long time because that was our connection, but it turned to motherhood, and religion.  She would come to me with questions, and she shared with me that she had been baptized into the LDS church when she was young, and she had a lot of questions.  I shared the simple truths that I understood with her.  In the fall of 2010, I felt strongly to send her a Book of Mormon and my testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ.  Her husband even accepted our relationship because, well, I won him over with my gifts. . . okay, no, but I attribute that to a lot of prayer.

She shared her concern that while she wanted to go back to church, she wasn't sure that she could do it without her husband's blessing.  She did not want to tear her marriage apart, as adoption had already done that.  I began praying strongly for her and for her husband.  I had never met them, but I began to love them immensely.  We talked several times a week.  I pray specifically for her husband to soften his heart, knowing that the Lord can truly change a person.

Fast forward a year:  Fall 2011.  Michelle decides she's going back to church no matter what (her re-conversion story is pretty amazing; I'm only sharing my side of things).  She visits the local bishop and shares what he said to her with her husband.  His response floors her (and me) when he asks, "Well, who's going to teach me?"  I kid you not when I tell you that I about fainted when Michelle relayed this to me.  I cried and cried and cried.  Michelle and her family started going to church.


November 2011:  Her husband decides he wants to be baptized.  I tell Matt that at any cost, we are going to drive the 11 hours to support them.  Matt doesn't even hesitate when he agrees that we need to be there.  While they've never met, Perry asks Matt to baptize and confirm him a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  Matt is humbled.

December 2011:  We drive down to Mesa to finally meet our friends and support them in this big decision and change for their family. We decided to drive through Las Vegas and show Jackson the Hoover Dam.  They have this new bridge that is just amazing to walk across.  When I was little, you actually drove across the dam.

Don't worry, we hung on tightly to the boys so they wouldn't go over the edge. 

(Can you believe that Cole was so tiny?!)

Standing in two states at the same time:  Arizona and Nevada.

When we pulled into their neighborhood, I couldn't see the numbers on the buildings to find their house.  Michelle came out to the corner to wait for us.  I had seen many pictures of her, but I couldn't believe my eyes when I finally spotted her.  (She's the reason size 0 exists!)  
We got to their house in the late afternoon/evening on Friday, and we just enjoyed visiting with the family and the missionaries.  I kept hugging her just reaffirm that she was a real, living breathing soul.  She threatened us all with licks!

Saturday was the big day for Michelle and Perry!  Our emotions were all on the surface.  As I led the music for the service, I cried while singing "Come Thou Font of Every Blessing" and "I Know That My Redeemer Lives."  The spirit was strong.

And I finally got to meet Megan -- Michelle's other spiritual guidance counselor.  ;)

On Saturday evening, we went to their ward party and then went to see the "temple lights" at the Mesa Temple.  While there, Tyler told me that he wished he had a grandma like me because I bought them apple cider and donuts.  Ha!  I told him I could be his aunt instead.

On Sunday evening, as we sat around the fire talking about the weekend and our feelings and answering church questions, Michelle handed me a bag.  In the bag, was a card and this gift:

As I read the letter, I bawled and bawled.

I believe that there are people meant to be in our lives at specific times.  I also believe that there are people we are supposed to meet to know for the rest of our lives.  I have several of those friends, and Michelle is one of those people.

That night we all got licks -- yes, she even surprised Matt. 

Michelle's side of the story is different, but as I sit and thought about how joining a crazy adoption networking site (it was crazy), writing a blog post, and saying one little prayer, I realize that the Lord knows what He's doing.  I adore Michelle's family.  We are from completely different worlds, and yet the Lord knew how to bring us together.  We're certain that we swore a pact to find each other, and since we were worlds away, the Lord put us together.

Michelle will tell you that I changed her life.  I will tell you that she's changed mine and continues to influence it every day.  The faith, the strength, the courage, and will for her family to change has set an example to me.  I'm grateful that the Lord prompted me to pray for a missionary experience. I am glad that I was reunited with my sister.