Have you ever noticed that when you decide to make a life change to improve yourself or work on a weakness that suddenly all of the adversity in your life targets that ONE area?!
The last two weekends, loud and clear, the Spirit whispered, "First comes God; then comes Family; and then everything else." I LOVE health coaching. The personal growth and rewards are endless, and I don't feel like I'm supposed to give it up; I'm just supposed to get it in the right order. The best part is that my business coach and mentor said the exact same thing to me on Sunday-- see another sign!
I realized that I was putting my children behind my other pursuits -- while they are good and noble, I started noticing that I wasn't present in my children's lives. They were sitting in front of their screens as I sat in front of mine or talking on the phone. Sometimes I had to ask myself if I even knew what my kids had been doing for the past two hours. I told myself it was in the name of helping our family financially and serving others. Sure, but where was I my children's lives?
On Saturday I made a very conscious decision to embrace my motherhood. Embracing Motherhood does not mean I
am not taking care of me or putting my needs on the side of the road or "letting myself go." To me, it meant accepting motherhood as a choice I made and learning to LOVE it even during the difficult times. That hiccups happen, and it's okay. Embracing Motherhood means that my kids will remember me as a mother who loved them no matter what, and that I not only liked being a mother, but that I loved being theirs.
On Saturday, I was motivated and energized to make this change in my life and attitude. I told myself that if my kids needed me, they'd come first. If it meant that I needed to be up with them at night, I'd have a good attitude and let them know that I LOVE being their mother, and that even if I didn't get sleep, it'd be okay.
Well, that's what happened. That night, my 3 year old decided he needed mommy in the middle of the night. So, I climbed in bed with him, sang songs, and eventually brought him upstairs to my room to sleep on the floor so he could be close. I didn't snap at him or lose my temper once (that is a feat!). The next morning, I was happy, not upset and still was in love with being a mom.
Now, remember how I talked about that adversity in the beginning? Adversity has snapped her little fingers and said, "Oh, no, you didn'! Let's see just how much you will embrace it!"
Embracing Motherhood means (in no particular order, these things have ALL happened this week):
1. On Sunday morning, when my eleven year old asks if he can make pancakes with me that morning, I embrace the moment and say, "Let's do it!" (I was planning on heating up the leftover pancakes in the fridge, but he remarked, "but I wanted to make them with you.") The reward: "Mom, I really love making breakfast with you."
2. Not complaining when my husband decides to have some heart to heart time with Jackson just before church giving me less than an hour before church, to shower and get myself ready, get my 3 year old dressed, feed the baby, and get everything packed. We walked in 1-2 minutes late, but we were all together and happy.
3. Delaying dinner because the baby is crying, the toddler needs attention, and the eleven year old had a lot of homework (pretty much every day).
4. Taking 4-5 deeps breaths and letting my son's anger and frustration wash past me as he struggles with homework, which delays dinner.
5. Getting puked on at least 4 times and changing your shirt as your two youngest children cough up mucus after their naps.
6. Setting aside exercise for a few mornings to read books and play trains with a child who wants to be with mommy.
7. Taking Facebook off my phone to focus and limit my time getting suctioned away.
8. Not returning emails right away or responding to texts immediately because my son needs a snack.
9. Taking three days to write a blog post because your little ones need to be held, fed, or rocked.
10. Getting 4 hours of sleep (maybe) because both kids were coughing and crying.
11. Letting your husband sleep, and waking him only when you really need him, as you change your clothes in the middle of the night because you were cough and puked on yet again.
12. Sleeping with the baby in your arms in your bed sitting upright (don't judge) -- something you swore you'd never do (co-sleeping) -- just so she can get some decent sleep.
13. Heating up those pancakes in the morning and cooking up bacon and making your son's lunch because you're running late.
14. Trying to force a smile because you're sleep-deprived and grumpy, but it really isn't anyone's fault, and the whole mood of the house is affected when you're a brat.
15. Shutting off your phone to spend quality time with your husband.
16. Attending a school board meeting via phone so you can stay home and take care of your sick littles.
17. Pouring bowls of cereal for a snack just so your toddler will eat.
18. Letting your dishes sit, forgoing mopping, and not folding laundry.
19. Accepting that this is life, that it is wonderful in its season, and letting the fear, frustration, and anger go.
20. Telling yourself that "It's Okay" that the day hasn't turned out the way you'd planned or envisioned, and that you may not shower because you'll probably get coughed and puked on all day again. ;)
I know that I've embarked down a worthy path because the trials and adversity are still at my door. (I just got an email that my grandmother is giving up her fight and ready to "depart.")
The best part about all of this is that I don't feel anger or frustration. Sure, I'm exhausted and tired, but I've decided not to stress over the little things. They'll get done. Right now, the important things are the Love of My Life and my Littles (and one Medium) who need and want me. I want to be the mom that my children remember as the one who loved, sang to, rocked, played, fed, and laughed with them. I want them to know that I not only like being a mother, but that I love being theirs.
On Saturday, I was motivated and energized to make this change in my life and attitude. I told myself that if my kids needed me, they'd come first. If it meant that I needed to be up with them at night, I'd have a good attitude and let them know that I LOVE being their mother, and that even if I didn't get sleep, it'd be okay.
Well, that's what happened. That night, my 3 year old decided he needed mommy in the middle of the night. So, I climbed in bed with him, sang songs, and eventually brought him upstairs to my room to sleep on the floor so he could be close. I didn't snap at him or lose my temper once (that is a feat!). The next morning, I was happy, not upset and still was in love with being a mom.
Now, remember how I talked about that adversity in the beginning? Adversity has snapped her little fingers and said, "Oh, no, you didn'! Let's see just how much you will embrace it!"
Embracing Motherhood means (in no particular order, these things have ALL happened this week):
1. On Sunday morning, when my eleven year old asks if he can make pancakes with me that morning, I embrace the moment and say, "Let's do it!" (I was planning on heating up the leftover pancakes in the fridge, but he remarked, "but I wanted to make them with you.") The reward: "Mom, I really love making breakfast with you."
2. Not complaining when my husband decides to have some heart to heart time with Jackson just before church giving me less than an hour before church, to shower and get myself ready, get my 3 year old dressed, feed the baby, and get everything packed. We walked in 1-2 minutes late, but we were all together and happy.
3. Delaying dinner because the baby is crying, the toddler needs attention, and the eleven year old had a lot of homework (pretty much every day).
4. Taking 4-5 deeps breaths and letting my son's anger and frustration wash past me as he struggles with homework, which delays dinner.
5. Getting puked on at least 4 times and changing your shirt as your two youngest children cough up mucus after their naps.
6. Setting aside exercise for a few mornings to read books and play trains with a child who wants to be with mommy.
7. Taking Facebook off my phone to focus and limit my time getting suctioned away.
8. Not returning emails right away or responding to texts immediately because my son needs a snack.
9. Taking three days to write a blog post because your little ones need to be held, fed, or rocked.
10. Getting 4 hours of sleep (maybe) because both kids were coughing and crying.
11. Letting your husband sleep, and waking him only when you really need him, as you change your clothes in the middle of the night because you were cough and puked on yet again.
12. Sleeping with the baby in your arms in your bed sitting upright (don't judge) -- something you swore you'd never do (co-sleeping) -- just so she can get some decent sleep.
13. Heating up those pancakes in the morning and cooking up bacon and making your son's lunch because you're running late.
14. Trying to force a smile because you're sleep-deprived and grumpy, but it really isn't anyone's fault, and the whole mood of the house is affected when you're a brat.
15. Shutting off your phone to spend quality time with your husband.
16. Attending a school board meeting via phone so you can stay home and take care of your sick littles.
17. Pouring bowls of cereal for a snack just so your toddler will eat.
18. Letting your dishes sit, forgoing mopping, and not folding laundry.
19. Accepting that this is life, that it is wonderful in its season, and letting the fear, frustration, and anger go.
20. Telling yourself that "It's Okay" that the day hasn't turned out the way you'd planned or envisioned, and that you may not shower because you'll probably get coughed and puked on all day again. ;)
I know that I've embarked down a worthy path because the trials and adversity are still at my door. (I just got an email that my grandmother is giving up her fight and ready to "depart.")
The best part about all of this is that I don't feel anger or frustration. Sure, I'm exhausted and tired, but I've decided not to stress over the little things. They'll get done. Right now, the important things are the Love of My Life and my Littles (and one Medium) who need and want me. I want to be the mom that my children remember as the one who loved, sang to, rocked, played, fed, and laughed with them. I want them to know that I not only like being a mother, but that I love being theirs.
I think that co-sleeping really means sleeping with one or two kids on a regular basis, not just when they are sick. So I think you are not co-sleeping! (That's what you wanted to hear, right?) Congratulations on embracing motherhood!! You can do it!
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing how much influence the mother has, especially in her attitudes and reactions. For Reals.