It seems on the days when you're focused on being a good, kind, loving person, that life smacks you upside the head and says, "Oh, yeah, let's see how you handle THIS!" That was yesterday after I posted.
Sure, everything started out wonderfully. I was in a great mood, made breakfast for my family, and was staying on track for having a busy, productive day. Child #2 had a difficult time waking up, and Matt had warned me that he'd also woken up wet. Usually, Matt is the one to bring him upstairs, but yesterday, he let him sleep. Matt left for work, and within 10 minutes, Child #2 emerged and proceeded to cry and scream off and on for the next hour. At first, I was handling it well, but as it wore on with my fruitless efforts to calm him, my rational brain and emotional stores began to run dry. The anger started rising.
What did I do?
I closed myself up in the food storage room, knelt on the floor, cried for a few minutes (I had to release my emotions somehow), and prayed hard to stay calm. I breathed deeply, repeated my affirmations about why I want to stay calm, and reminded myself that I just love my little guy. I breathed and prayed until I felt I could stay in control. Then, I went back upstairs.
Baby woke up not long after that, but I was able to feed her, and stay in control while Child #2 slowly calmed. He had a few more smaller episodes, but soon was able to wake up and be his very cheerful self.
I could feel that my stores were dry, though, and after all were fed, we went outside, and I worked in the yard digging weeds and pulling out old bushes. Expending energy in a productive way is excellent for soothing the mind and emotions. I listened to a podcast while I worked, and felt restored mentally.
It felt good to find another outlet other than yelling at my kids or taking out my emotions on them. It's hard, and I'm hoping it gets easier, but these emotions sure are strong some days, and I'll bet my kids would say the same thing!
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