My Morning

Usually I should post first thing in the morning with my routine.  Sadly, I slept in and didn't have time to finish my already shortened morning routine, but I went running, which I'm finding is the #1 way to help me with my emotions all day long.  This morning, I'm feeling good about my affirmations again.  My favorite one is "I am in control."  This can be used not only for my anger management, but my emotional eating.  I'm looking forward to having this become part of me at a subconscious level.

This morning was a typical grumpy Jackson morning.  Everything was wrong (according to him) -- the breakfast, how we read our morning scripture passage as a family, and the routine that was slightly out of order.  I tried to just let it slide, mostly, off my back, although I had to mention that it's okay to go out of order once in a while.  We had a hiccup as I noticed that his clothes were filthy and didn't look like he'd washed them over the weekend (his job).  I knew he was going to be late, and as I felt the anxiety and agitation creep into my voice as I said he looked like a "slob," I decided to switch tactics.  Instead of tearing him down more, I got him clean clothes and asked him to change.  When he asked what a slob was, I told him matter-of-factly that a slob is someone who looks like they don't care about being clean.  I told him that at school, he wanted to look "professional" in his uniform, and with the change of clothes, he looked great.  (His hair was unkempt, but really, you have to pick your battles.)

After he changed, he was frantic and upset, and I knew that was my fault.  We calmly talked about why it's okay that he's going to be late and that we knew what the consequence would be and that is was okay (again). I saw him physically relax as I talked calmly and reassuringly.  Because I wasn't panicked, neither was he.  I gave him a "fidget" for his hands so he wouldn't be rolling his clean white shirt in his dirty fingers all day, and we hopped in the car on a positive note.  By the time he got to school, he knew he was late, but he was calm.  He was rolling the rubber bracelet (the fidget) I got him in his fingers to help him with his anxiety, but he was not tense nor frustrated.  I even got a hug as he walked into class. 

Within minutes of walking in the door, Cole's stomach decided it'd had enough, and Cole threw up.  I was amazed at how calm I was and not panicked.  Besides, I can clean a floor -- it's no big deal -- and he can't control how his stomach is going to react.  I got him settled down on the couch with a video to rest, and then I took care of sad Emmy who'd been waiting on me to notice her.

The best part about all of this is that I don't have the guilt, resentment, or indifference that ALWAYS follows the anger. With the affirmations "I am in control" and "Managing anger will help to repair and strengthen my bond to Jackson and Cole," I feel that my I'm living more intentionally and helping to build greater self-discipline.  I know it's going to take work, and especially today, with Jackson bringing home extra homework today, I'm going to sound like a scratched CD repeating the same mantras over and over again.